Touch me, touch me

..I wanna feel, well knackered and very unfit mainly. I admit that’s not quite as lyrically eloquent as the Sam Fox original but it’s the truth.

In one my brighter moves of the recent health kick, I thought it would be a genius idea to go along to an off-season touch rugby* session down at Ealing Trailfinders. Raymundo has occasionally turned out for the various vet and social club sides and is mulling over ‘just one more season’, which is pretty much what every prop says until they are forced to retire, so with that in mind we pootled off on Wednesday evening for a gentle run-around in the sunshine.

I currently think I’m fitter than I’ve been for a long time, certainly fitter than at points in my rugby playing days when I did pretty much nothing except play on a Sunday and train, very occasionally, once a week. I certainly smoked and drank way more. So it came as a slight shock to the system to find out just how unfit I am. Within two minutes of the whistle I was, as Sean might so delicately express it, ‘blowing out my arse’.

Admittedly I am getting over a cold but it was a sharp reminder about the differences between being fit enough to jog round the park or do a spin class,  and being fit enough for the stop-start of a rugby game, particularly touch when you can’t rely on a breather every few minutes when the show ponies backs** knock on*** and the forwards can get together for a scrum**** or three.

To further add to my joy it seems that one innocuous game of touch has managed to really aggravate the nerve in my back which made sleeping last night fitful and walking this morning a tad ouchy to say the least.

Time to go back to the physio …:(

*Touch rugby is, theoretically, a non-contact form of the sport. Tackles are made by touching the player with the ball with one or two hands, depending on the rules of that game. If you are the player with the ball, slamming into the person trying to touch you with your forearm is apparently not allowed. This was just one of the rules of touch I had to be reminded about during the evening.

**For any none rugby fans reading this, rugby teams are divided into two sets of players, forwards who do all the hard work and decide who win the game, and the backs, who get all the glory by scoring the actual points and decide by how many points the win is won.

***Again for the non-rugby ppl, a knock on is when the ball is dropped, accidentally, and goes forward, which is again the laws of the game, obviously it would be far too easy to play a game in which you are allowed just to pass the ball in the direction you need it to go to score.

****The bit where all the forwards get together to restart the game, it looks like we’re hugging (in league***** they pretty much are), which is possibly why the backs don’t seem to care how often they make mistakes which lead to scrummages

*****There are two different types of rugby, union and league. League is played by larger and fitter players and is dull to watch as it lacks the  fun of proper scums, rucks and mauls*******.

*******If as a non-rugby fan you’ve made it this far, best go read the wiki page on rugby as I’m giving up on the explanations.

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