Define: Niff, Naff n Triv (well sort of) – Part 1

niffnaffntriv Since I started Niff, Naff N Triv, I’ve been asked a fair few times what the hell it meant and I thought it was probably about time that I came up with a standard definition that I could bandy about forever more. Except I couldn’t come up with a good enough one, so I turned to an older and, therefore apparently, wiser head. The very person I had stolen the phrase from in the first place to help out, my elder brother.

So in Niff, Naff’s first ever guest post, and his first blog post ever, I proudly present…

Sean Gaffney’s definition of niff, naff n triv

After being tasked to come up with some sort of understandable definition of niff, naff n triv, I found myself humming and hawing. Should I stop doing what I was doing and come up with a definition? Or should I just continue doing the nothing that I was busy doing? Well the definition won, as it was instantly more attractive than carrying on not doing my job for no real reason, for now I had a job to do.

I thought that I knew what niff, naff and triv is and to be honest, I do! As does my sister. People who know the value of knowledge, that’s real knowledge passed between men with beards drinking ale in poorly lit pubs, instinctively know good niff, naff and trivia when they hear it. They then absorb it and save it for a rainy day, until it can just be gently slipped into conversation and evoke the correct response from astounded listeners. The correct response, of course, being “How the F*%K do you know that?”

The type of thing I’m talking about is gently leaning over the shoulder of the office ‘know it all’ as he spouts off about Baron de Coubertin and that in 1896 the first Olympic Games of the modern era were held in Athens, and just saying ‘So you never been to Much Wenlock then?’ and walking off.

People have knowledge, most of it is flawed, misinformed or just plain wrong. How they come by it is largely influenced by PR consultants. People therefore think they know what they need to know because that’s what they have been told that they need (hang your heads, I know what you guy do!). What you need to do is have the deeper knowledge at your finger tips and embrace niff, naff and trivia and enjoy the fact you know the facts upon which their faltering knowledge is based.

I thought I would start with a single all encompassing definition and, having the definition done and dusted before the mornings stand easy (yes, I’m aware you are asking what a stand easy is). That would then leave the rest of the day free for sorting out the meaning of life, curing cancer and still leave time for the afternoon’s stand easy and a large game of mine sweeper. However I soon found myself stuck. Defining things wasn’t quite as easy as I had first anticipated and not wishing to miss out aardvark or sausages I decided to break the whole concept into easier bite sized chunks and start off with Niff ,then Naff and finally Triv….

Unfortunately it seems that verbosity runs in the family, part two will be posted tomorrow,  is here

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